I’m confronted every day with men who are otherwise quite capable, professional, kind, compassionate, and confident. However, the moment I mention that I struggle with same-sex attraction I can see the “deer in the headlights” look on their face. They freeze and demonstrate a total lack of any of the above characteristics. Most of the time, this is the result of the lack of proper grounding in the Scriptures and a failure on the part of their mentors to provide adequate guidance on how to live out the Gospel among broken people who sin differently to them. Some men are simply uncomfortable being in the presence of men or women who express their struggle with same-sex attraction. Some feel threatened by the information accompanied by proximity to someone who they now feel may be attracted to them for reasons other than mutual admiration.
This is an issue that needs to be addressed at a fundamental level through small groups, pastoral teaching from the pulpit, the mentoring process and other avenues of influence. What is at stake is a generation, or more, of men who lack the proper support, mentoring, affirmation, encouragement and partnership necessary to fill in gaps in their gender development. We are reaping the results of the lack of masculine influence in the lives of many men and boys in that we have an increasingly successful social movement to permit more open influence of same-sex attracted people in the lives of children and young people who are in public school and even in church. Many churches that once embraced the totality of the Gospel as it was taught for two thousand years are rejecting God’s clear teaching on gender roles and sexual ethics in order to embrace a social gospel which is really no gospel at all. This is putting new generations of young people at risk for exchanging Christ for a social gospel that will do little for them other than lead them into a life that takes them far from God’s intended purpose for their lives.
Granted, God gives everyone complete liberty in which to live our lives and to choose the kind of future that we want. But, He created each of us with unique abilities and a purpose that is intended to dovetail with those of others within the Body of Christ. I believe, as I’ve read in other places, that those who experience same-sex attraction are uniquely gifted by God to provide a distinct perspective to and to build up the Body of Christ. I believe that they are uniquely gifted to contribute to the life of the Church globally and to help enlarge the Kingdom of God. For this reason, and I’m sure many more, they are confronted by our enemy, the devil and directed by him into behaviors and situations that distract them and detract from their calling and gifting. We, the Church, are missing out on their contributions. This is completely preventable if godly men will focus their influence on the things for which they are placed in the Church. We must make ourselves unconditionally available to God so He can use us to influence each succeeding generation for good.
Social media make genuine public discourse almost impossible. There are those who troll the pages and sites of those who hold views opposing today’s so-called progressive ideals for the sole purpose of finding people to attack. The only tool used by these individuals now seems to be intimidation. Multiple people pick out a “victim” and begin boxing them in with nonsense that is just a parroting of the agenda being pushed by those who oppose traditional values and norms of behavior that have been in place for millennia. It is unfortunate that the past decade has been witness to such a breakdown of the social fabric of this country. I’m truly glad that my wife and I did not have children. I can’t imagine having to navigate this world with them while trying to do my job as a mentor, guide and protector to them while facing the rising tide of anti-Christian bigotry and hatred spewing from so many quarters. As time passes it seems that those who hate us become more and more bold and brazen in their attacks on our faith and our lifestyle. They would have me believe that I am a traitor to them because I refuse to embrace the lifestyle which they claim is my true identity. Fortunately for me, I’m my own man, and I’ve no intention of identifying with what my flesh craves. Jesus told me to deny such things and to take up my cross in order to follow Him. My flesh screams at me; but, I don’t consider caving to it because Jesus gave everything to give me a new life. I will embrace the purpose for which I was born, and that does not include indulging in purely selfish behavior in order to satisfy a fleeting desire that will bring me grief and regret the moment it is over.
My identity is that which is hidden deep within the mystery that is Christ. It is a mystery that can only be understood if I give away what the world values and receive those things which are of value to God. It is often my unpleasant duty to part ways with people who become a drag on my walk with God. I’ve even had to break ties with members of my church at times in order to be obedient to the call of God on my life. There have been some who declared they would walk with me through some difficulty or to be there for me if I needed them. Sadly, as I mentioned earlier, they simply can’t wrap their heads around what it means to be an influence without being influenced by the temporal things they imagine when I tell them my story. I think it is time for men in the Church to finally embrace the idea that there is nothing to fear when a man shares his story with him. He should actually feel honored and blessed to be perceived as strong enough and humble enough to hear something as deeply personal as the temptations and trials of a man who is determined to leave a life which he believes to be sinfully displeasing to God. Until that time I will continue to hope in Christ as I take one step after the next in pursuit of the goal of intimately knowing Christ.
pauseforthought1961 