Amid all the uproars and pathetically transparent protests involving various causes over the course of the past year or so there have been a few that caught my eye on social media. No, it has nothing to do with racism, or police, or crime, or violence. The protests I’ve kept an eye are are those which I’ve also had the chance to witness first-hand. They are the protests which are conducted at churches by people who don’t agree with the purpose of a meeting, conference or seminar that is being hosted by said church.
One such protest just seemed to scream, “Look at me and change what the Bible says to suit my personal narrative!” I was attending a “Love Won Out” One-Day conference at a local church and was greeted by a small band of people who wanted me to forego my attendance at the conference because it made them feel excluded from the mainstream church. Now, the thrust of the conference was to encourage, equip and support those of us whose struggle with same-gender attraction is something we want to win against. I don’t go around and harass or attempt to persuade others who have the same sexualized feelings as do I to change or to join with me in this struggle. Nope, not in this lifetime without a direct word from God or the Archangel Michael. My struggle, and that of others like me, is very personal to us and we have enough to deal with to keep us disinterested in trying to persuade people that the choices they are making in how to respond to the same-gender attractions are somehow wrong. I don’t answer for the choices of other people, I answer for my own choices.
I couldn’t help feeling sorry for these people as they stood out there on the side of the drive leading up to the church. I completely understand how they feel. No, really, I do. I’ve often felt like just giving up the struggle and giving in to my sexual urges and saying, “To hell with it!” I’ve questioned why I have these feelings when I object strenuously to their presence in my life, and I’ve asked God “Why?” a million times. But I always get a stony silence when I ask that question. What I have learned is that there are specific, medically demonstrable and visible facts about how the things that happened to me as a toddler began the cascade effect of brain structural changes that would dominate my life. The latest scientific studies I’ve been reading and watching via video links and social media links are substantiated by several of my friends in the medical field. The gist of them is that for every action in which we are participants, willing or not, there are structural changes that occur in the brain that create neural connections which are reinforced over time with repetition of the same or similar behaviors.
Now, I’m not going to debate these studies, which is the primary reason I’ve not referenced them here. They are generally available when one searches the Internet for subjects such as “sexual behaviors and neural pathways”, “neural pathways and their response to repetitive behaviors”, etc. The information is readily available to anyone having the desire to be fully informed about how people become “addicted” to various substances or behaviors. And, if people want to ignore or decry the information they have the right to do so. But, I’ve been encouraged to find that when I choose to intentionally engage a different set of behaviors that it begins to make the necessary chemical and neurological changes necessary to create new neural connections allowing for a completely different outcome for me. That isn’t to say that is isn’t tough to do it. I require a great deal of personal determination and the support of men who believe in me in order to continue moving forward. I fail often and I admit it, get back up and move on to the next challenge…even if it looks exactly like the last challenge that I lost.
The reason I bring this up is because of the cultural phenomenon that is going on in Western Culture, in particular, that demonstrates an illogical idea about who God is. For some God is a myth or a crutch. For others He is very real and vengeful. I’ve been in the latter camp before and found it disjointed from the Gospel. One thing I’ve come to understand is that God isn’t afraid of my hard questions or my raised fist. However, I will NOT change the fundamental characteristics of God by my puny protests, my political activism or my questions. He remains eternally the same. I’ve heard it put this way: If I feel alone or that God is no longer real, it isn’t God who has moved or changed…it is me.
I had a brief encounter on social media this past week with a man who claimed to have been an active part of an Australian mega-church’s worship team who has now decided that God doesn’t exist and is working as hard as he can to have God excluded from the educational system in his homeland. That’s all very fine and perfectly legal. It is also within the realm of the freedom that God himself has given to that man and everyone else on Earth. However, I’ve also participated in the activities of a mega-church and find that it is quite easy to become disconnected from God in the process of doing the work for all the wrong reasons. I strongly suspect that Jesus’ parable of the farmer sowing seed onto various types of soil with the corresponding results would apply to this gentleman quite well. So many people in the 21st century are seeking an experience rather than a relationship. That applies, generally, across the board regardless of the area of life involved or the people with whom one lives or works.
What I’ve seen, far too often, is people joining a huge, modern church and becoming enamored of the technology and the popularity of the preacher instead of seeking a relationship with God. Our church, and most mega-churches, encourage members to join small groups in order to form the types of life-changing relationships that are necessary to living as a follower of Jesus. Without them it is quite possible to live as a follower of Jesus, but, it is much easier to do so in the company of men and women whose pursuit of God matches or enhances our own. Scripture talks about how the worker who has no help is fine until he falls down and can’t get up on his own. The key to success in any part of life is to engage in relationships with other like-minded individuals or groups. It is the rare individual who can achieve success all on his/her own.
God can’t be change by our much protesting his “restrictive” instructions and impossible expectations. However, when we fully submit our will to Christ we are empowered to become far greater than we could ever be on our own. No man is an island. We all affect someone else whether we realize it or not. There is always someone watching our every move and discerning the value those actions have to them. It is my hope to be an inspiration to anyone else who is struggling with same-gender attraction or same-gender fascination.
pauseforthought1961 